Survival of the fittest, derived from science, the Darwinist approach that species are created with different characteristics and features to adapt to their environment. Through natural selection and changes in the environmental sphere, the disintegration the weak will naturally occur through evolution. Only the species that withstood change, and those that are better fit to their environment survive, despite the extinction of others. Survival of the fittest applies to the concept that only the strong survive.
Interesting thought, what if you have exercised survival of the fittest for some aspects of your life but not all. You were a horrible student, so you started studying more and actually rewriting your notes and suddenly you adapted and became better. You were a horrible daughter who barely saw her mom during the week, so you chose to hang out with your friends less and stay home and bond over dinner, card games that you grew up playing with her, and conversation. She felt more a part of your life and then you were okay again.
However, you get into that relationship that changes everything. A car accident became the foundation of a love that could withstand anything. Water fights, drunken nights, late night trips, emotions coinciding at four in the morning. External forces resulted in difficulty, grieving seemed to define what was left. Things hit the fan, and you cry about it. Eventually you decide to numb the pain, to capture the beauty of the pouring rain. You result to the substances that make it go away, and remember the things that made you stay. You seal your heart with the reasons why, why it wouldn’t work, why you can’t come back.
Then you tell yourself you have moved on. That very moment you tell yourself you’ve moved on; you have “adapted.” You feel strong, you start seeking out to live your life. You tell yourself nothing else matters, and you do what results in quick fixes to the maddening reality. You undermine what you’ve caused and the monster you have created; you undermine rules of common courtesy. Challenging what you stood for, this rebellious side, to further tell yourself that you don’t care, and nothing matters but your own happiness. Regardless, this time period of so called recollection and finding your way, rather than making you stronger has made you weaker. Only because you haven’t “adapted,” you are on the verge of extinction. More vulnerable, more resistant, more anxious, more scared, constantly fearing what you will make of your future, because everything you thought was your future just disintegrated, and you played your role in it never coming whole again.
Love truly does make the world go around. Albus Dumbledore once said, “Don’t pity the dead, pity the living. And above all, pity those who live without love,” living in a world with no love, is like living in a world where your colors are dull, where music is just noise with no meaning, it takes away from beauty and motivation and goals. Love doesn’t necessarily mean a romantic relationship, although those do play a huge impact, maybe the most painful impact, particularly in my life. You fail to remember that self-love is the best form of love out there. When you lie to yourself, you are choosing to love yourself less. Love is based on honesty and trust and you have already broken the first rule by choosing to lie to yourself, convincing yourself that you are over it when you truly aren’t. Cheating yourself of reality and trusting yourself less by questioning if you are strong enough, but you chose to lie because it was easier. It’s okay to admit you were wrong, as humans we all make mistakes as we set out to earn wisdom in life. However, convincing yourself you are okay when you aren’t results in the purest form of self-deception. You can’t fully love, trust or dedicate yourself to another without having full dedication to yourself first. After owning up to your shortcomings, you may feel a gush of pain, but that only means you are allowing yourself to feel, and truly move on the right way.
Survival of the fittest in self applies to the realization that you are not perfect but perfect in your own way. Allowing yourself self-love, in order to more effectively love others. It also means learning when to let go, even when in your psychological mental state, you believe that your object of desire is begging you not to. The pain just makes it real, and remaining hopeful and keeping an open foundation of faith goes a long way. Every night comes to an end, to pave the way for a better beginning. They say it’s better to have loved and lost, than to never have found love at all. But never love and lose yourself, because you are your truest form of love, and your biggest support system.