It seems as if life is filled with moments of delayed gratification and instant gratification that make you question things, and your efficacy is what predicts outcomes. However, when all things are said and done, you can’t help, depending the outcome, sit yourself down and ask yourself the famous question: Why? Why did I do that? Why was I so mean? Why didn’t I say something? Why? … Why? … Why?
I define WHY, as Whole Heartedly Yearning for answers. The power of reason is the logical explanation as to why you’re always asking questions. It’s funny because isn’t it easier to answer other peoples why’s and not your own. Have you not found yourself giving awesome advice and not being able to take your own? Or you are so able to determine and map out someone’s actions, and not even have a clue to your own. Me personally, I hate asking myself why, because I will sit there for hours and play the famous waiting game on my own thoughts. It seems as if some of my why’s have answers that are universally defined and then others leave you in the dark. No matter how deep you go soul searching, you can’t answer why? Did you do it for yourself or did you do it to make another person happy? Seriously… why?
Is it possible that the reasons we can’t find ourselves answering our own why’s is because we are the most critical of our own actions? Do our actions actually make or break us in ways that sometimes we choose not to face. Do we choose to shelter ourselves from the truth so that we can delay how powerful the outcome will be on ourselves? I am still learning how to answer my own why’s, because personally I just don’t know if I will wake up the same carefree person the next day. It’s like there’s always those artificial answers to our why’s such as: It was because I had no time, it was because I was tired, or because I can always do it later. But there’s always a deeper reason why, those are just the quick fixes that help us sleep at night.
There just seems to be more at stake when we have to hold ourselves accountable for actually doing what we knew was the right thing to do, and even more at stake when you know you did the wrong thing. But asking why wouldn’t exist if human nature didn’t always question things. Explain yourself to yourself, and even though you may not like it, it’s the only way to reflect and grow. Life is about living and learning. When you don’t ask why and gather reasons then you remain stagnant. Facing the reality is sometimes the much needed wake up call, and the sigh of relief. Don’t allow others to answer your why’s before you answer your own, because others shouldn’t define who you are and why you do things. In the end you are the only voice that really matters, and you choose at what pace you heal and grow.